Going All In: A Mantra for 2024
Happy Winter Solstice, Friends!
For those of you who have tuned in to past years of the L+D Newsletter, you might remember that the winter solstice is one of my favorite days of the year. The day with the least amount of light serves as an annual pivot point for me and a moment of reflection as we start to climb out of the darkness and into the light. I also use the day to plan for the year ahead, and a more recent tradition has been to identify a word or phrase that will serve as a mantra for the coming year. As I shared with my team at our virtual holiday extravaganza this week, my phrase for 2024 is “Go all in.”
What does it mean to go all in? For me, it means putting my whole self into something and being completely unashamed of how others might perceive it, whether I fall short of expectations - of others’ or even my own - or the endeavor is a wild success. It’s committing at a higher level to projects, events, and relationships with attention, time and creative effort. It’s doing something, not just with intention and purpose, but with unabashed enthusiasm and deep emotional connection.
In 2023 I went all in - for Taylor Swift.
I know. There have been a lot of articles and posts about Swift in recent weeks, including Time Magazine’s Person of the Year and last Friday's episode of NYT Podcast, The Daily entitled "The Year of Taylor Swift." But this newsletter article is less about Taylor Swift than it is about what I learned in my year of fully embracing my inner Swiftie.
I’ve been a fan of Swift for as long as she has been recording music. It was impossible in my household not to listen to her music and, in turn, appreciate her evolution from country crooner to pop icon. I’ve seen her grow into a gifted songwriter, lyricist and storyteller. All three of my children have spent many long car rides, belting out songs from the album of the era. But it was my third child, Piper, who was a true devotee, dressing up like Taylor Swift at Halloween on multiple occasions, eagerly awaiting the releases of each new album, celebrating her birthday alongside Taylor’s (they are just 10 days apart), and following the many romances and breakups that served as the raw creative material for so many of her songs. So when the Era’s tour was announced back in January, I knew I had two choices - resist the whole situation or go all in with Piper. So I chose to go all in and we got tickets for the August 9, Los Angeles show. That however, was just the beginning. I had no idea just how deep I would go.
What did “going all in” look like? Here are a few data points from my year. It looked like:
Reorganizing my work day to sit on the phone to get tickets to the concert.
Consoling my child for days when we completely locked out of ticket sales.
Scouring the internet for weeks to look for “affordable” seats. Success!
Making a Taylor Swift TikTok with Piper that went as viral as I’ll ever go (almost 700,000 views!)
Pining over the breakup of Swift and her longtime boyfriend Joe Alwyn and cringing over the rebound romance, Matt Healey.
Memorizing the entire Eras Tour setlist (all 3 hours and 30 minutes of it).
Spending summer evenings making friendship bracelets with song names and lyrics.
Learning all of the secret chants that I would be expected to recite on concert day and knowing when to chant them.
Understanding the backstories of all of the songs - for whom each love song was written, the details of the devastating break-ups that had ensued, the stories about her mom and her dad, and, of course the whole Kanye West situation.
Following the tour each weekend and commiserating the morning after each concert about the “surprise songs” that were now off the table for our August show and feeling genuine disappointment when she performed one of my favorites. We would cross those songs off of Piper’s handwritten list of every Taylor Swift song.
Convincing my high school best friend that she and her youngest daughter should join us at the concert.
Picking out the outfit to wear. And then actually wearing it - complete with feather boa, heart shaped sunglasses, sequined skirt and a homemade “Who is Taylor Swift Anyway, Ew.?” T-shirt.
Celebrating the release of 1989 Taylor’s Version (which was announced at our show).
Watching Kansas City Chiefs games in hopes of catching a glimpse of Swift in Mama Kelce’s box.
Wearing red lipstick - even more than usual.
Landing in the top 2% of Taylor Swift listeners on Spotify.
And attending (by myself) a Taylor Swift themed pilates class - fully outfitted with friendship bracelets and elements of my concert attire.
I went in big and I reaped big rewards. I felt a huge sense of gratitude for the time I got to spend with my youngest child. She’s the only one left at home and I’m seeing one part of the parenting journey coming to an end in just a few years. Going all in on something SHE loved was basically the greatest thing I could do for her as a parent. She felt completely seen and known - at times even a little annoyed - but it was without a doubt the single best use of my parenting time. Other benefits: I deepened my friendship with my high school friend, and we have an ongoing podcast project and more adventures in our future. I reconnected with what it felt like to be completely silly about something - and not worry what other people thought about a 52 year-old worshiping at the church of Taylor Swift. I gained so much from not holding back.
Why don’t we let ourselves “go all in” more often? Why do we hold back from fully investing emotionally and intellectually in the people and events around us? Why do we get one foot into the door and then back off? Why do we step back from the fire when things start to heat up? I think a lot of it has to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of judgment of all kinds. It’s a risk But when you go all in - really go all in - most people respect it. They see that you aren’t looking for their approval and that you are doing the thing because it is important and meaningful to you. What a wonderful and brave way to show up for the young people we influence every day in our schools. When we insource our enthusiasm, joy and approval, what other people think doesn’t matter. What gets in our way of “going all in” is often outsourcing those things to others. What gets in your way? What holds you back?
So for 2024, my mantra will be “Go all in!” I’m not sure what it will look like this year but I would like to see it expand into more aspects of my professional and personal life. I’m thinking about how I’ll apply it to work with my team. How can I “go all in” for them and support them in their work in ways that let them know that I’m invested in their success and in their learning? How can I communicate to the schools I’m working with that I’m all in as a partner and co-thinker? What will be the thing I will geek out about and find new communities of like minded enthusiasts. If you could “go all in” over something in this coming year what would it be?
In the meantime, from all of us at Leadership+Design, we look forward to celebrating our 10th Anniversary year with all of you. And we wish you a beautiful winter solstice and many days ahead with family, friends, a good book, or a Netflix special. As for me, I'm hoping to expand my music selection this year, but on January 1, I'll be listening to my surprise song, "New Years Day" - just for old time's sake and to remind me what it's like to go all in.
