Why Would Anyone Want Beginner’s Mind?
This fall, I started a graduate program at Union Theological Seminary, back to school as a student after 35 years. As I plunge eagerly into this new beginning, I’ve been holding (sometimes tightly) onto the idea of a beginner’s mind or shoshin, the mindset from Zen Buddhism which illuminates a space of openness and curiosity that leads to new ideas and fresh perspectives - no matter your expertise level. I was eager to compare notes with three brand new teachers who just survived the first two weeks of school. My questions seemed simple enough: What do you think about a beginner’s mind? How does that mindset shape where you are right now?
Three sets of panicked (and admittedly tired) eyes looked back at me.
“I can’t wait until I have five years of teaching under my belt,” said one. Heads nodded.
I had imagined a conversation about the excitement about starting a career with a blank slate, a wide open canvas, free of preconceived notions of what teaching is. I imagined stories about possibilities, new ways to think about students and learning.
In my excitement to hear about beginnings from beginners, I’d forgotten about fear.
At that particular moment, the uppermost feeling in these new teachers was not the exhilaration of possibility but fear of failure. Why would anyone want to be a beginner, they asked.
“This is another one of those places where age doesn’t matter,” says my wise friend Danielle Dayton, Director of Athletics at Moorestown Friends School. We feel that fear of beginning whether we’re 23 or 43 or 73. That’s why she greets every new team she coaches with, “Congratulations for being here. If this were easy, everyone would do it.”
At any level of expertise, risk is scary. It actually can get scarier the more your roles and responsibilities increase, the more you’re supposed to know what you’re doing. How can you be more curious than certain? How can you step into that space where, like a child in a sandbox, you can practice and play with a beginner’s mind?
Here are three ways I stare down the fears that stop me from being the boldest, most creative version of me.
Be present. Lean into the fear and try to feel every part of it. Be curious about what’s scaring you the most and where it comes from. Identify the fear (“I am afraid of making a mistake.”) and then finish this sentence: “And the story I tell myself is…” What is the story? You might be surprised at the answer. You might see connections to events or people of your past. Ask again: “And the story I tell myself about thatis….” Keep listening for and being curious about your story. One day, you might realize that it’s just a story that you’ve told yourself. You could, if you wish, tell yourself another story. One with less fear.
Take the long view. It seems paradoxical after the last paragraph about being present but fear can trap us in a spiral of paralyzing emotions. Step out of your current time frame and imagine the story you might tell a friend or a student a few years from now. Perhaps the story describes your fear. Perhaps it has a few places where you tripped and fell on your face. Perhaps it has some nascent pieces of learning from the journey.
Practice. Facing the risks of being a beginner, like cultivating wonder or practicing gratitude, might benefit from doing it again and again. My brave friend Jessica Hurwitz, a first and second grade teacher at Princeton Friends School, took up a childhood love ten years ago and enrolled in an adult ballet class. “After ten years, I am still very much a beginner,” she says. “But despite the challenges, I often leave class elated.” Another fear conquered. It’s more muscle memory stored away for another challenging, vulnerable experience where she could try something new.
In the last six years, in addition to going back to school, I have taken up cello lessons (failed), joined a dragon boat team, and started a new career. As I start another new adventure, I am mining all of these beginner experiences for courage and compassion - both to shape my beginner’s mind and to support all those starting or dreaming up something new.
What’s your story? How do you help yourself tamp down your fears and step more boldly and joyfully into risk and newness? How does it affect your ability to apply a beginner’s mindset to your day to day? Take a moment and share it with us on one of our social media spots. I can always use the encouragement!
